Bump in the Road

I faced something I never thought I would face.

Mostly because I took the advice of my church leaders and parents and made certain very important decisions before the situation arose.

I understood and told myself since I was in primary at age eight that I would marry my husband in the temple.

I promised that I would get baptized at age eight years before, when I was about five.

But this was about modesty.

I went dress shopping for my pageant with my mom yesterday.

Dress shopping. . . Every LDS girl knows how I feel.

It's SO hard to find a modest dress that both fits and looks beautiful.

We did find two that I absolutely loved but. . .

They were sleeveless and backless.

I looked at myself in the mirror at the beautiful gown trying desperately to think of a way to alter it.

Problem was they were both hard to alter and the problem with altering is getting the material exactly right.

I felt myself then. . . Start to justify.

Things went through my head like:

It's just for one day.

It's just for the pageant.

All the other girls will think you're pretty.

All the other girls would wear it,

What would it matter if you slipped this one time? It won't change who you are.

Then. . .

This quiet voice came into my head and it said, "who are you?"

I am a daughter of God.

I promised at baptism to keep the commandments

and one of those is to dress my body in a respectful and modest manner.

It might sound weird to someone not of my faith, but it's important to me to not budge.

I had made the decision when I was twelve to be modest, no matter what the world thought about me.

But it was hard!

The straight and narrow isn't a smooth and paved road.

It's rocky with pot holes.

But it also has a protector and a friend.

I prayed in that dressing room for help and received it.

Luckily it was only my first day looking for dresses so I was able to take the dresses off and throw them in the corner of the little room and forget about them.

I put on my shorts and t-shirt and caught myself in the mirror again.

My shorts were long.

"This is who I am," I whispered to myself squaring my shoulders.

Because when I was twelve I made a promise to not wear short shorts and these shorts were part of that change. 

I had thrown away one pair of short shorts to make room for these.

I threw away those dresses to make room for my moral well-being.

"This is who I am."

"Add to Your Faith Virtue and to Your Virtue Knowledge"