Less than one month.
I've been counting down by months.
1 month gone
6 months gone
6 months to go
3 months to go
Now I count by days.
Elder Gibson comes home
February 27, 2012
29 days.
I'm in a little bit of denial.
Can it really be
that this is ending,
he's coming home,
I'm going to be seeing him soon.
Really soon. . .
29 days soon. . .
I can't wait to see him.
I can't wait to see how he's changed.
I can't wait to hear the stories.
I can't wait to hear him speak.
"Less than a month" keeps running through my head,
because maybe if I say it to myself enough times
maybe I'll believe it.
He's coming home.
29 days.
The most popular thing I hear is,
"didn't that go by fast?"
No,
it didn't.
It just the way things are.
The time that went the fastest was when I kept myself busy.
At times I overwhelmed myself to keep myself busy.
All those busy things I've done come down to one question
that some of you will be sad that I'm asking,
but I'm asking it.
Am I good enough?
Jeff's been gone for these two years,
he's going to come back the most awesome guy in the world.
He's going to be amazing.
I have to evaluate myself on what I've done
with the time I was given
to prepare myself for when he comes home.
Everything I think of that I have done
doesn't seem to stand next to his mission.
Anything I could've done
it's too late now.
I am really scared
I won't measure up.
I know it's a sad thing to say,
but I have been thinking about it a lot.
I have a feeling that I won't be calmed
until he comes home
and I know it from him.
29 days. . .
Nikki you cannot begin to understand how much you have matured and grown in 2 years. So let me explain it to you: You have matured and grown SO much in 2 years. You are more independent, you take care of your responsibilities, you are in hair school and learning to do something you love. You also ran a marathon. Don't get down on yourself. God gives young men a path to follow that is straightforward, with signs pointing in the direction they should go. For women he pretty much says, "go for it." That's all you have done and you will keep choosing which path to follow a bazillion times more! Even when Jeff comes home you might find more things and adventures to accomplish! I can't believe you are 21 this year. My little sister is a grown woman!
ReplyDeleteOh. My. Heck! Seriously?! It's already here?! I swear we were just at the pool and you were like "6 more months." I was thinking in my mind I can't wait till I only have 6 months left, and he hadn't even left yet! lol! Now when he gets home, i'll be 6 months in. and I know you are SO ready and he will see it! don't doubt. Waiting in itself changes you. Not to even mention all the fears and stuff we conquer! You got this! ;)
ReplyDeleteYou have done such an amazing job! I can't believe two years has gone by! It's crazy to think meeting you and Jeff when we were 13! Crazy stuff! So proud of you though!
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