Torture in the sweetest

I do it again and again.

In this point in time it makes me super happy so I can't stop

looking at pictures,

videos

of us.

The only thing I regret is not taking more videos.

His voice,

his laugh,

the way we were together.

I love the ways things have shifted!

I'm more happy than sad.

I used to miss now I look forward.

Watching videos used to be torture.

I did it to remember him in the moments I thought I was forgetting

his voice,

his laugh,

and the way we were together.

I'd cry, because I missed him so much.

NOW

I can look and smile.

I cry because I'm happy.

I love the way things have changed!

Which is ironic, because when he left I wanted to hold on

to

everything

and never change.

Even my favorite color wasn't safe.

NOW

I can understand that change is great

as long as it's a good change.

 I love it, I love it, I love it.

One thing will never change.

I love him, I love him, I love him.