Valentine's Day. . . Ugh. . .

Valentine's Day and I do not mix.

Even Jeff knows this.

I've never had a good one.

Still, in the spirit of the holiday I've decided to post some texts Jeff has sent me.

I made a small scrapbook of the cute texts he sent to me to keep the memory.

October 11, 2009:

"It's impossible to tell you how much I love you through a text. . . :/"

October12, 2009:

"Ha ha! It doesn't matter what you're doing! <3 . . . Or what you think you look like. . . <3. . . You're always beautiful!"

November 4, 2009:

"My hands were made in such a way that only yours will fit perfectly into them."

November 4, 2009:

"Nikki I love you so much! Please don't think I'll ever change my mind! <3 :* <3"

 

I've called this immediate blog posting for a very important reason.

It's leaked out of me.

Every Sunday I write Jeff a letter.

They are friendly, but nothing lovey dovey.

Until this one.

The problem is I didn't even know I wrote what I wrote until I read it after I sent it. Dear Elder sends you the letter in a printable form after you send it.

Usually I read over the letter before I click the send button, but I forgot this time, and reading it over in my hotmail for the funny mispellings I might have dropped in so I could laugh at myself and get over it.

It was all good until I came to one sentence. I challenge you to find the slip.

"I got my hair cut. . . Off. . . Short. . . JK LOL! Ha ha! It's actually just past my shoulders and awesome, but I'm afraid of looking different when you guys come home for some reason. Like I won't be me anymore, but that's totally not even true so I should get over it. Change is hard though! I don't know, it's weird. I love my hair but hate that it makes me look different, but I want to keep it because I love it. So don't judge me when you come home and see my hair different. I'M STILL THE SAME NIKKI! Ha ha! Plus, I love it and would never let it go any shorter in fact I want it a little longer. No worries about that. I did remember randomly as I was sitting there getting my hair cut your letter almost a year ago that told me I could do whatever with my hair until a year after you were out. . . I don't know if you remember that. You were in the MTC still. ;) Still a greenie, baby Missionary. Ha ha! Look at me! Talking about my hair with my guy. I need something else to talk about."

I called him MY GUY!

Which, let's face it, he is definitely my guy, but that's beside the point.

The point is I've tried so hard to bottle up my obvious feelings for him that my cup runneth over. . . Literally!

I've been so preoccupied with not letting him be distracted by me. It's been a year. Something's got to give.

I will swallow this up and move on, because it wasn't that big of a deal.

He knows it, I know it, who doesn't know it?

I will move on though, because dwelling on it will make it worse.

And if he brings it up in his next letter. . . 

Well, that's for another post.

To add a side note, this could be made worse by the arrival of Valentine's Day. I actually can't wait until I can walk into the grocery store without seeing my favorite white calla lilies staring at me with hearts and pink balloons floating around.

Written 11/29/2010. Sent 11/30/2010. Received 2/03/2011. . . I'm not even joking!

Hello there Nicole May Nebeker again! --bad handwriting. . . Ha ha! Ok so yeah the sunburn was pretty bad, but surprizingly it didn't hurt all that bad. . . it was weird but I wasn't complaining. . . ;) Oh ¡ha! my light fixture! that's actually extremely common. Houses actually don't catch on fire here because they're made out of concrete. The WHOLE thing! I'm glad you liked the pictures. :D Mexican food is actually WAY different than the the Mexican food that you get at resaurants. There's a tone --e?. . . ton more than burritos, enchiladas, quesadias, beans, and Spanish rice. And it varies depending where you are in Mèxico. Apparently there's a lot of meat in the north, but I actually eat a lot of vegetables and stuff like that. It's DELICIOUS!

Tell your mom "you're welcome" from me for here letter. I'm glad she liked it. (talking of the food again: the catsup IS a little odd. . . but eventually, I found myself using it. . . What's HAPPENING TO ME!??!!!?!?!!

Ha ha! Your job sounds like the way my brother described his old job: A manager thats just awful but another one that's really cool, upset costumers. . . I guess every job could be more or less like that (mas o menos así). (That Spanish phrase popped into my head before the English. . .)

Oh, thanks again for telling me about Cory. I don't really know why, but he always pops into my head every once and a while and I hope that he's doing ok. I everything that you wrote probably made a lot more sense to me than you meant it to. Especially the missing Texas a lot. I miss Park City a lot, or maybe just the UT SLC South mission. I don't know, but I loved it there. And I love it here even more! I would be so Deppressed (one "p"?) if I had to go home right now. I sometimes think about what it would be like if I went home right now for whatever reason, it just doesn't sound fun at all, and I would be horribly Mèxico sick (like homesick. . .) Anyway, thank you again, as of now, I'm still waiting for his letter, but these letters take two weeks to get to you at least. So I'll probably have his by the time you get this. You sent me a Thanksgiving package?! That's totally unexpected! Thank you!. . . I actually don't even have it yet, but I think that it'll be here. . . or actually, it's probably here by now and I'll get it later today because it's Monday! Thank you! I'm all excited now! You really DID buy those burritos at Taco Bell. . . and if you keep sending pacages, I'm pretty sure you're going to pass me up. "The shipping alone is costly you know!". . . (the old Johny Lingo) but seriously. Four packages and you'll be WAY past me! I do appriciate the packages though. . . ;) I just got your Thanksgiving package! I loved the leaves! É' Cruz has never seen a tree of colored leaves, just dead leaves on the ground. . . :/ The maple cookies were wonderful! I've never seen that before. . . But they were REALLY good! Everything was REALLY awesomely GOOD GREAT! (that was a better word. . . ;) ) ¡Awesomeness! But seriously thank you a ton! :) . . . Ha ha! I just read over what I wrote, and it sounds SO A.D.D.! Ha ha! Oh well. . . ;) Ha ha! Your dream! I laughed. . . a lot! I can totally see you dreaming something like that. It was really funny when I first read it, because the prices are like that down here (but in pesos) So I was just like, "what? Is that not a good price, or what?" then I remembered that you were talking about dollars. . . Ha ha! Has my cousin answered you back yet? Maybe not. . . he might answer my brother. . . actually, if he's not answering you, he probably won't answer Kevin either. . . Ha ha! I guess. . . just yeah, if he talks to you just tell me how it goes! :) Oh, yes, México does have day-light savings and it's wonderful for missionaries because we got to sleep for an extra hour and it was wonderfully wonderful. What kind of coolio phone does my brother have? You're welcome again for the pictures. I should probably send some more sometime soon. it's been a while. . . That's great that you got to hang out with Cory! (have you noticed I'm answering like four of your letters in this letter? ;) ) I'm glad you had a rockin' time! ;) With old friends. . . "Friends, near and far away, coming home to say,". . . I don't remember the rest. You'll have to watch some Winnie the Pooh to hear the rest.

Oh, Guess --capital? who I met on Wednesday! (12/22/2010) *I'm thinking his or the stamps dates are off* Elder Black from Mapleton! He told me "Hi!" from you, and a little about how Cory was doing when he left. But I've heard about him since then, but oh well, it was good to hear some news. Ha ha, it was completely random how we met too. . . In Guadalajara, there's a stake center right next to the temple and there was and open house going on for 4 days. On the last day my zone was chosen to sing Christmas hymns and a couple special musical numbers. I was actually playing the cello. . . not singing. . . ha ha! But anyway, when we got there my companion was thirsty so we went into a farmacy and got a water and the other elders that live with us just kept walking and I saw that they met up with some elders from the other Guadalajara mission (the temple is just barely in the other mission) Then we came out of the store and one of the missionaries (the Mexican one) got way excited (He knows my companion from school) So then us Americans got talking and I told him I was from St. George and he said, "I think a friend of yours added me on Facebook. . ." Then I figured out it was you. But it was so random  because we just happened to be walking right there at the same time. So yeah, that was cool. Then I went and played the cello! that was tons of fun! I'm glad that you had fun at Thanks-giving --one word. . . and I hope you're having fun today for Christmas. You're replacing Louie?! "He died and now you want to wipe him out of your life like he never exsisted! And I though you loved him. . ." (Yours, mine, and ours (the old one with Lucille Ball)) Anyway. . . Actually you're just sending him to be fixed but actually you probably have him back by now. . . one way or another. Oh and here are the 10 things that I'm thankful for: *Elder Gibson and I started writing ten things we're thankful for in every letter*

1. central heating

2. light fixtures

3. Imodium

4. letters/packages

5. bottled water

6. 2nd languages

7. public transportation

8. little stores on every corner

9. Cameras

10. Christmas calls to the family!

Yep so there's the list! Sorry I took so long to write this letter. . .

One Year!

Okay, not quite yet, but this is the one year package to be sent by tomorrow via USPS.

For those of you that say, "see? That went by fast, didn't it?"

No. It did not. That's just the truth of things

The great thing about this slow year is it gave Jeff and I time to learn and grow, but you can read my last posts for that kind of stuff. Now on to the good stuff!

This package is a "keep on going" package. Complete with inspiring scriptures that go with everything in it. I did buy everything before I came up with the idea of the scriptures so. . . Yeah!

Peanut butter goes with Mosiah 3:20

 Fudge covered mint Oreos. Oreos are the inside joke with Jeff and I. They go with Abr. 2:16

Butterfingers! John 20: 27 & 29

 Jeff likes 'em, so I'll send them. Peachie-Os. 1st Nephi 8:12

Swedish fishies. Matthew 4:18-22

Sour Patch kids. Mosiah 3:19

Pretzel M&M's. They're new, and absolutely amazing, so I sent him some. 1st Samuel 16:7

He doesn't have an oven. :) Jiffy Pop it is! D&C 121:7-9

I will hear nothing about it!

Okay, let's get this over with. I'm sending the Elder a Pillow Pet. He doesn't know them and they're adorable and they're travel pillows. This one is the Valentine's Day edition.

I work at OfficeMax, so I can get awesome pens. These are my favorite. Left one is for journal writing and the right is for notes.

It helped to have my manager be an RM so he could show me the best ones for the mish.

Ties! I asked Elder Jeffrey Gibson what he wanted in his package and he said ties. What a missionary! Well, I bought one joke and the other for realsies. More to come! I will be sending joke ties from now on.

Recently my awesome friend, KayCee Williams, became KayCee Mann. She gave me this to send to Jeff. Weird that our friends are all getting married. . .

All packed up and ready for shipping.

Another package gone.

Another year gone.

I guess when I do think about it it's been a little fast.

I hope for this next year to be slow for Jeff and fast for me. 

I hope for us to learn as much as we possibly can cram into this one year.

One year.

I like the sound of that!

Coincidence? I think not!

This would be better looking, but personally I think Blogger needs some help. I have to fight with all my posts to make them. . . Post right. Anyway!

My brakes in my car failed.
It's actally a funny story now that everyone's survived, I didn't crash, and some how everything turned out okay.
So, my mom and I were driving to Krave (a popular frozen yogurt place here in St. George) and as the mini-van in front of me was pulling into the turning lane I did too.
The mini-van stopped a little shorter than expected, but I should've been able to comply just fine.
Until my brakes started making this grinding noise and it was as if I was sliding at 35 miles an hour toward this mini-vans bumper.
All I could see were red brake lights and my mind went blank as I swurved, barely missed the van by inches (my mom will second that), went right into traffic, and back into the turning lane.
This was on Bluff Street in the evening when traffic is high and people are coming home from work. The fact that I totally missed the car in front of me was a miracle in itself, but the chance that I missed the huge truck that traded me spots leaving an open lane for me to swurve into was amazing.

Coinsedence? I think not!

That was an experience I won't forget. I was very much protected. I don't remember thinking at all, it's as if I already knew what to do. My car is in the shop and the new brakes will cost over a thousand dollars, but it's a blessing that no one was hurt. Plus, it humbles me to have to depend on others to get around. Thank you to everyone who drives me to work and play! My family and friends are amazing!

It's Getting Easier

I have been given something that Jeff used to give me all the time.

When I was lonely,

or just cold.

It might not seem like much to some, but it's his jacket.
It means a lot to me.

He used to let me borrow it all the time.
I talking clear back into high school.

I have this thing with jackets. . .

It started back when my dad had some health problems. He was gone to Salt Lake to go to LDS Hospital. Call me a daddy's girl, but I would miss him a lot.

My dad had this wool sweater he would wear all the time and while he was gone I would wear it.

Fast forward a couple of years and now I have this funny thing with jackets.

I miss him, I miss him, I miss him.

Jeff's younger brother, Kevin, gave me Jeff's jacket.
Thank you Kevin, for making this year that much easier for me.
Now I have something physical I can hold on to.

Happy New Year!!

I know, it's like almost February.
Bare with me. . .

I've made a huge resolution, huge for me anyway, and I plan to achieve it.

I'm going to run the St. George Marathon!

I've made this resolution for a lot of reasons and since a lot of them have to do with a certain someone
(three guesses who)
I figured I should blog about it.

Reason number one:

Running has always been my stress reliever. Whenever something stressful happens I will get up and go running. Running stripes me of all my walls and lets me know my true self. I get to push myself to my limits. For some reason this calms me, like showing myself that I still have something constructive to let it out on. I found this outlet when I was 14 and never let it go. You can thank my cross country coach for that, Coach Bentley. He never let me break, even when I wanted to. It's no lie when I say that Jeff leaving has stressed me out. Sorry, but duh. Jeff and I were ready to get married, but there was one more thing he needed to do first. All you married people need to think back to when you met your spouse and knew they were the one you wanted to get married to. Now. . . imagine that you must now say goodbye for two years and they aren't supposed to think about you because you are now a distraction. ;) Stress? Yes! So, I run and run and run! Ha ha! Jeff is not my stress, the situation is. Which isn't anyone's fault, but it comes with the territory. It's a complicated game.

Reason number two:

I want to do something life changing before he comes home. Granted going to school, institute, and work can be life changing, but I was doing that before Jeff left. I believe the journey to the marathon will be more important than the actual thing itself. Sounds weird, but I forsee a lot of self discovery in this. I want to be able to say to Jeff that I've changed in good ways and seen myself in different lights.

Reason number three:

In wanting to take good care of myself. It is a running joke between my brother Tyler and I that I need to eat and gain as much as possible before Jeff gets home. Then we will see if he really loves me. ;) Looks like I better hurry, he only has about a year left!